My Journey – Becoming a Woman of Faith

Growing up I thought I lived the definition of the all-American family -- with a little twist of awkwardness. Let’s be honest being a preacher’s kid (PK) came with a whole set of stereotypes and standards. And as a young girl who just desperately wanted to fit in and be “normal” created some insecurities.  I was blessed with two loving parents, who loved God first and spent their lives serving Him and others. As an adult, I can finally appreciate my “different” childhood -- from morning devotionals with my dad, limited sleepovers, countless church services – vacation bible schools and youth camps, spending the holidays prepping for Christmas and Easter services and volunteering time to those in need. I’m pretty sure I came out of the womb with John 3:16 memorized – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I mean I was a PK – I think that is expected. 

I was “saved” at a young age. I was in church every time the doors were opened – it was hard not to know the gospel. It was pretty simple, I knew that I was sinner and needed God’s love and forgiveness. John 14:6 says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” I truly believed this, but to be completely honest – it wasn’t something I was very open about. I was definitely not going to shout it from the mountain tops. It might have been a lack of maturity – or that fact that it made me different, but I was a little timid in my faith and my family’s solid devotion to living a faith-based life was a little uncomfortable. 

Regardless, I considered myself a Christian, but to me it was something that I kept private. The opposite of how my parents lived out their faith. In this quietness, I began to straddle the fence – living in this world, not for God. I can now see how important it is to surround yourself with other believers – it could be the difference of staying focused on eternal things – or becoming of this temporal world. As any young adult, I thought I was invincible, loving life – did what I wanted and had successful plans for my life. I was still a believer in Christ, but I was young – I had my whole life to be a good Christian and serve God and others, right?

Then my dad died very unexpectedly in 2005 and my world came to a screeching halt. Job 1:21 says, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away…” Isn’t that the truth? I began to question God’s goodness – because seriously how could He let something like this happen to a man that dedicated his ENTIRE life to serving Him? That is just wrong – or so I thought at the time. 

It was in the years following my father’s death that I discovered this new-found faith in God that I was definitely not ashamed of – and was grateful that I had finally embraced this life changing reality. Had it really taken the death of my father for me to understand God’s love and that finally realize THIS life is definitely not the end – and quite honestly just the beginning for those that find truth and believe it wholeheartedly?

James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds. Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature, and complete, note lacking anything.” Over the years I have had my fair share of trials – broken friendships, tragic deaths, lost jobs, and more. And in the moment of despair when I felt like calling God out, “Really God, again?“ -- I am reminded of Romans 8:28 that says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” In hindsight, many of these trials have strengthened my faith and made me who I am today. And the good news is that even in the midst of a broken and ever changing world – God remains the same today, tomorrow and forever.

We all know that life on earth is a little messy. I am a perfect example -- believe me when I say I have many moments I am not proud of. You can ask my husband – I’m sure he’d share many examples! The good news is that God loves me and has given me grace. That grace is from the ultimate sacrifice He made -- sending his son Jesus to die on the cross to forgive us of ALL of our sins.  He has gone before us to prepare a place in eternity called Heaven – where there is no sadness, evil or sickness. Seriously this is deep stuff – and SO important for us to know before it’s too late. It could be the difference of living in eternity in the presence of God or separated from his goodness FOREVER.

Living a daily walk of faith in God -- in the word, in prayer and in community with other believers is exactly where I want and need to be. This my friends is NOT something to live quietly for, but to share boldly for others to experience.

Swimsuit season is upon us, you ready? NOT AT ALL … and it’s a beautiful thing!

I don’t know about you, but there is something about hitting the ONE year mark post baby that mentally I’m like – there is NO more excuses for that extra baby weight hanging around. It's a wakeup call to get my exercise and nutrition back on track – so I can get my pre-baby body back. Where does this pressure come from? Is it because I live in a society that promotes an obsession with outward appearances, beauty is perfection or is it because I have a closet full of clothes that used to fit my pre-baby body so perfectly – but now is another story? I’ve never really struggled with body image, but after having babies – EVERYthing changes.

A few months ago I began “operation lose my baby weight.” I began hitting the gym 5 days a week, food prepping “clean” food, counting calories, tracking mac ratios, drinking shakes and taking supplements. Because I saw lots of progress and hit the BIG milestone of reaching my pre-baby weight, my thoughts became consumed with fitness, nutrition and outward appearance.

This body of mine will NEVER be what it was before – and that is just fine. I was reminded there was beauty in imperfection. This mom body is a beautiful thing – even if it bulges in areas it used to not, has more wrinkles than ever before and is marked with scars. This body of mine carried, grew, labored and delivered two little lives into this world that were more than worth it. And that is B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. I am thankful for a loving husband that appreciates this kind of beauty.

I will continue to live a healthy life style – a balance of nutrition and fitness – but not be overwhelmed with the pressures of a pre-baby body. For all you mommies out there that are stressing over swimsuit season – give yourself some grace. Don’t lose sight - true beauty comes from within.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Children | Your Greatest Investment

A question that I get ALL the time – are you done having babies? The answer to this question is quite complicated actually. The decision to consciously add more children to your family is one that most women do not take lightly. Adding more little ones to my family would impact everything – finances, schedules, stress levels, my career, and certain comforts of life. Of course the joy they will bring will outweigh everything else, but I tend to be analytical to an extent when making big life decisions.

Over the Christmas holidays I got to spend a week with ALL three of my sisters and their young families.  And even in the chaos of having nine adults and four children in our home for over a week, I caught “baby fever.” I feel so blessed that my sisters have developed into my closest friends over the years. It is so fun doing “life” together – now that we are adults and starting families of our own. There is a part of me that wants to re-create this for my own children.

But when asked that simple question – are you done having babies – I often find myself focusing solely on the logistics of what it would mean for my family to have one more. Being a full-time working mommy, the time I get to spend with my children is limited already. Is it really fair to add another one to the mix? And let’s be honest, when I think of adding another child to our family I can’t help but think of MONEY and what an extra child would mean to my bank account. Forbes reported that a child born in 2012 will cost his parents $241,080 in 2012 dollars, on average, over his lifetime.

And when I finally pull myself out of the day-to-day mechanics of raising children, I can see more of the big picture. Being a parent is a unique opportunity in life to mold and shape young lives into something that is bigger and better than ourselves. Your children and family are part of the legacy that you will leave behind when you are no longer on this earth. Should I really let money and a comfy savings account weigh so heavily on my decision to expand my family? Of course, it is wise to be financially responsible and live within your means – I will be the first to admit that.

Technically I am not the one that controls the number of young lives in my family anyway - these little bundles of joy come from above after all. I just have to trust in His plan, not my own. A wise woman once told me, “Your children are truly your greatest investment in life.” So, while I am still undecided on whether or not to actively try and expand my little family of four that God blessed me with, I will be patient, pray and see where God leads me.

“Every good and perfect gift comes from above.” James 1:17

Working Mom's Guilt? I think NOT!

Over the past 5 years, I have experienced what I thought was working mom’s guilt. Lately I have really pondered this feeling and have finally discovered where this is all coming from. For the record … I have absolutely NOTHING to feel guilty about by being a full-time working mom. I am able to contribute to the financial stability of my home, show my children the value of a strong work-ethic and utilize my God-given abilities in the work place. As I entered into my 30s, I started to search for a network of moms and young families to share in this journey of life.

I am passionate about people and relationships. Everyone has a “story” and they are all special – it’s what makes us unique. I thrive when I am deeply connected. My husband and I joined a small group at church for parents of young children.  While the friendships we have formed there are encouraging and fulfilling, I still found myself a bit discouraged and out of place. I found myself in a sea of stay-at-home moms. And it kind of made me a little crazy thinking I was all alone.  Let’s be honest – most play dates and mommy functions are organized and scheduled  on week days, which is hard to get plugged into with the demands of corporate American between the hours of 9-5 Monday through Friday.

Please don’t misunderstand me! I love my stay-at-home mom friends and have many close friends that stay home with their sweet kiddos all day every day. I just need an outlet to share my daily lows and highs of being a full-time working mom. The more I thought about it, I realized I am not experiencing working mom’s guilt – I am experiencing a lack of community with other full-time working moms.  In 2013, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that 63.9% of mothers in the work force have children under the age of 6 years old, which means … I am NOT alone! There are other women JUST like me that manage this crazy juggle of family-life and work-life.  Could they be having these same feelings?

Why isn’t there a stronger community with other working moms? I don’t know, but I will do what I can to change this. This could be a real ministry opportunity. Lately I have felt led to get involved and do my part to help strengthen the network of working moms in my own community. I will be hosting a kickoff luncheon on March 6^th for the Sisterhood of the WORKING Motherhood in North Austin. Let the networking and encouraging begin!